Is “Divorce Envy” A New Thing?

I was flipping through Harper’s Bazaar magazine recently and came across an article titled “Divorce Envy.” You can check out the article here.  Divorce envy….is there such a thing and what is it? The article explains that many couples going through a heated divorce are experiencing “divorce envy” when their colleagues and friends are ending their unions in a more peaceful and friendly way. Think of it as “keeping up with the Joneses divorce style.”

What better example than Hollywood actress Gwyneth Paltrow and Coldplay’s Chris Martin who refer to their separation as “conscious uncoupling.”  It is not a surprise that many couples are opting for a zen divorce.  Heated divorce battles are costly and can become a very long drawn out process.  Would you want a divorce that lasts longer than the amount of time you were married? Likely not.

Nevertheless, it’s important not to beat yourself up if you are involved in a bitter divorce rather than an amiable one.  Sometimes a civil divorce is impossible if you are not getting the cooperation you need from your ex-spouse.  Cooperation and commitment is needed from both parties to have a somewhat peaceful divorce.

While envy is never a great feeling, it perhaps is a great motivator to cooperate with your ex-spouse in the divorce process.

Tell me what you think.  Have you experienced “divorce envy?”



Moving Away After Divorce – Good or Bad Idea?

In my last two Huffington Post articles, I discuss move-aways.  While it may seem like a good idea to start fresh and move to another state following divorce, it becomes a lot more complicated when children are involved.  If your ex-spouse does not agree to your move, you must seek a court order allowing you to move with the children.  This can turn into a very expensive, long, complicated and involved process.

So before you make any major decisions to move-away with your children following divorce, make sure you have a well-thought out plan that you believe is in the best interests of the children.  One thing to consider is how would you feel if your ex-spouse wanted to move to another state with your children?  This may help you with your decision and decide whether a move is reasonable and fair to your children and also your ex-spouse.

You can find my articles here and here.  Send me your comments or questions!


Divorce Cakes

With the celebration of marriage, for some individuals there is also a celebration to be had in divorce. Here’s a funny article I came across that showcases divorce cakes! Very creative indeed….


Joys of Co-Parenting

In my more recent Huffington Post article, I provided some tips on healthy and successful co-parenting.  As I’ve stated before, I am not an expert on co-parenting, but the tips I’ve provided are from the experiences that I’ve witnessed through clients who are going through many difficult co-parenting challenges in divorce.

This morning I read an article on about Hollywood actor, Josh Lucas and how he finds co-parenting to be “amazingly enjoyable.”  This should provide hope to those who are going through difficult co-parenting issues right now because there can be a point in time when co-parenting is in fact “amazingly enjoyable” ~ It is my belief that it requires communication, respect for the other parent and a lot of hard work.  If Josh Lucas can do it, so can you.


Preparing For Child Custody Mediation

I recently wrote a blog post for The Huffington Post discussing the importance of preparation for child custody mediation.  This is not something to be taken lightly since a mediator’s recommendation could determine your parenting plan for many years to come.

In San Diego, this is especially true since a Family Court Services mediator’s recommendation has great importance and sway in the Court’s decision to implement a specific parenting plan.

Check out my Huffington Post article for some important tips and things to consider when preparing for child custody mediation.


Most Expensive Divorce

In most of my articles that I write for The Huffington Post, I always stress the importance of being mindful of costs.  When you divorce, there are a lot of added costs that you have to consider, specifically with attorney’s fees and costs.  The last thing you want to do is spend all your hard earned money on attorney’s fees.

This morning I read this article on CNN….apparently this is now the most expensive divorce in history! In this divorce, husband was ordered to pay his wife $4.5 billion dollars! I wonder how much this couple spent on attorney’s fees….it was most likely outrageous as well.

Check out the article on